Lost Wallet

Found Black Wallet with $427 in it

(There was no wallet…I like to bring out the worst in people.)

Hello, I found a wallet today on the corner right by the Old Navy. It is a black men's wallet and it had $427 dollars in it, there was no ID or any credit cards or anything that would identify whose wallet it is, which makes it very difficult to get it back to the rightful person. I am hoping someone either sees this or knows the person who lost their wallet, if so contact me and I will give it back, please be honest, because there is no way to tell if it is really yours or not, I am a very trusting person and know that this money is very important to someone.

Thanks, Barry Portugal.

(The identity and personal information for the following dirtbags have been edited, because dirtbags scare me.)

Dirtbag number 1.

I was shopping in old navy that day and was struggling with the bags... I lost my black wallet... here is my cell 1-800-dirtbag. I recently moved here from LA, that was my paycheck in the wallet. I would be grateful if returned. I know you have no way of knowing but I swear its mine. I recently lost my wallet about 2 weeks ago, that why there are no id or credit cards... I can’t believe this happened twice... well hope to hear from you

Dirtbag number 2.

Hi my name is Dirtbag number 2. I lost my wallet coming out of the Old Navy. I was in a hurry that I didn't notice that I had droped it. I came back later thinking that I had droped it in the store but May on of the workers said that they didn't find a wallet and nobody turned it in. You are very right that money is important to me I need it for rent or my roommates are going to be upset with me being that this is the first month I stay with them and they don't really know me so well. Please give me a call at 1-800-dirtbag2

Dirtbag number 3.

hi my name is dirtbag number 3 my boyfriend and i was @ old navy today buying something's for our baby on the way i am 5 mouths . we came out of old navy to yeld for a cab to get in we where ganna take a bus but my legs and back was starting to hurt when he relized his wallet had eather fell out in old navy or just fell out wall outside. please if you have really found the wallet please call me @ my home @1-800-dirtbag3 we don't really have money cause of buying the crib and baby thing's i don't work and he pay's all the bill's and put's food in the house please call me or email me with the address that we can meet. please!!!!!! please please!!!!!
god bless

Dirtbag number 3continued.

hi it's Dirtbag number 3 again you can also email me @ dirtbag3@dirtbag.com please, please please email or call back

Dirtbag number 3continued again.

i tryed emailing you and you have not called or emailed please do so I really need that money before someone else gets it call me call me call me.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Answering a call on Craigslist for a Gay male model.

Hi. I posted an ad before but have found that I was not clear enough with what I am looking for. I am currently a student in my junior year at the School of Visual Arts. I a working on a project concerning the difficulties I faced with being gay early on in my life. I deal with issues of sexuality, sensuality and the loneliness and desperation of not being accepted by the world we live in and even my immediate family.

The types of models that I am looking for are young males who are willing to pose in a project depicting the aforementioned ideas. In terms of age, I am working on a project about youth and so I would like to keep my age maximum at 27-30 depending on how old/young you look. The models may be asked to pose nude or fully/partially clothed depending on the idea behind the photograph.

Eventually you should expect to see the photographs displayed in a fine art space in a public forum such as a gallery or even museum. In addition the portfolio of work will be shown to several graduate schools ranging from Yale to Harvard and everything inbetween (in the ivy league fine arts divisions).

I will certainly show you what my work looks like before we start shooting. There is no compensation for the modeling, as I am just a college student on a tight budget, I can print you a free 8x10 photo in retribution and furthermore I ask that you send me a photo of yourself along with your email.

Thank You. I hope to hear from you soon.

I am not gay, but I recently saw the movie Brokeback Mountain and can imagine what it must be like to be a gay man in this cold cold world. Once again I am not gay, but I think your project sounds interesting and would be willing to help. I hope that you could make use for me, a non gay man, in your shoot. I could probably pretend to be gay, which I assure you I am not, but I could probably pretend to be because I went to school for theatre several years ago, well back in the 70's, times where different then if you were gay, not that I am, or anything, so I assure you I don’t know firsthand. I am just saying that some of the guys I studied with were probably gay, and were secretive about it, but I mean I am not gay so I never had to be secretive about it. I would be willing to help you with your project as long as no one confused me as being gay, or thought I was gay in the resulting images.

Barry Portugal.

p.s. I am willing to pose nude with another man.

The resulting images are intended to end up in a fine art space along with an essay, which depicts the images as portraying the difficulties of being gay in modern day society. If you are interested please tell me your age, send a photo of yourself and what area you live in.

Uhm, it seems you missed my point. I am not gay. I don’t want to be portrayed as gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. I don’t want people to think I am gay or assume I am gay because I am straight. I have no problem helping you out with your project though. I would even be willing to "pose" and I stress the word "pose," as in "acting" or "pretending" to be gay with another man. I would rather not tell you much about where I live or send pictures because if by some way this email was intercepted, someone could misconstrue this conversation as gay erotica.

Barry Portugal.

Hypodermic Hypochondriac

Continuation of B.S. Craigslist Postings.

Free hypodermic needles (used)

I live in an apartment building, and for some reason people like to abandon what appear to be used hypodermic needles. Every morning when I step out to get my paper there is at least a needle or two. I believe people have been using them to shoot up drugs in my stoop, because it is not well lit.

I have been saving these needles for several weeks now and have nearly 30 of them. I have washed them in Palmolive anti-bacterial soap and I assure you they are clean, and safe. I know a lot of people who do not have basic insurance or health care are paying astronomical rates for needles like this to treat diabetes or other illnesses.

I will give these needles for free to anyone who wants them, like I said I have done my best cleaning them and using anti-bacterial soap so they should be good to be used again.

This is in or around North Portland

DO NOT TRY TO CLEAN NEEDLES ANYMORE PLEASE! even if you bleach a needle(which is the best way to clean a needle)A microscopic drop of blood remains in the plunger rubber this drop once exposed to air becomes infected you can transmit Hep -C to whomever picks them up, that's assuming that the previous user did not have HIV or AIDS
Please dispose of immediately at a doctor’s office or any other Bio-Waste pick-up like a hospital
And if you poked your self at all please get tested Hep-C, HIV, Aids can lay dormant for years but will still be transmitted

PLEASE BE ADVISED IF SOMEONE TAKES THEM YOU ARE LIABLE!!!!

This posting has been removed by the craigslist community.

Champ Man

Over the next few weeks I will be posting Craigslist ads that I made when I first moved to Portland, this one is a conversation I had with a West Indian woman who loves using excessive commas. I was posing as a Bangladeshi immigrant who was a falconry enthusiast and a cashier at an adult bookstore, because everyone knows that women dig Bangladeshi falconers.

Me is Bangladeshi man and want a woman. Me have good job in a store for video and books for adult. I like all woman. Me likey long walk on beach with you, woman in hands, see shells on breasts like mermaid, I am your lover, I am your hatti, call me daddi, me drink wine on the beach and make you have a good day all day cause you work bad job and dont like it but you know you come home and I cook you pasta noodles like a champ man that I am, the champ man from across the see, the one who cook you pasta noodles and you think every day is your birthday/valentines.
This is in or around you heart.

Me......West Indian woman 47yrs divorced and live in NE If interested, can you respond with pic?

Yes, Yes, I am so happy I love woman. I love bird. My picture. My bird so grand, back old picture in Bangladesh.

I am with that explosive west coast shit.

Barry Portugal.



Sorry, I took so long to reply...It's interesting you like birds. I don't have any pets ,,,,,but I love falcons,,,,,,,,Please can you tell me more about yourself .? Pics attached......



Oh, Hello dear womans.

I think you did not want me. Many woman no like me for my job at my store, say it not good job, but I say job is job. You work, you pay. I love bird and learn. I learn some new words every day, and practiss English talk. No good to type. No big words. Not yet so. I see you very pretty. My picture is old picture my bird gave from computer long ago.

Barry Portugal.

Hi...Barry........I haven't forgotten you, but I'm so tired whenever I return home from work.I'm so happy today’s Friday...Wow!!!! and the weather is so georgeous after those rainy days......I think your English is good, but you're just playing. I can tell by your writing.......I'm awaiting to see a recent pic....Hope to hear from you again.....

Sorry long time no write. The mean man in this country no let me stay no more. I must go. I no want to go but I have to. You must come with me. I need to show my mother that I am a hip man with a hip lady from America and that I come home when I want not when mean America man says. I even as you know changed my name so I would not be Bangladeshi, now America man says I go because they found out the lie because bird attack customer in private booth at store. Police and mean America man say no bird good bird, no bird allowed in private booth but the last one in back his nest…Off limits, customer no care, me in trouble…very sad police shoot bird 34 times.

Barry Portugal.

I can watch yer' childrens.

When I first moved to Portland I was jobless and because of all the dollar savvy strippers and strong drinks I was running out of money quick. I thought I could make a few bucks by babysitting rug rats. This is a copy of a Craigslist posting I made, unfortunately it was removed by the "Craigslist community," and I had to become a Jr. High School teacher to make ends meet.

I just got out of jail a few weeks ago and am having a hard time finding a place that will hire me. Background check blah blah blah. I am there most of the day, but i have a television, so I will turn that on when I am not with your children. I cook ok, and have some patience, although I am told I lose my temper quick. I am good with kids though. I also raise pit bulls, so if you are worried about your children being around aggressive dogs, you might want to bring like one of those pens for them to be in. Well enough about me, I am going to the bar now, but send me an email and I will get around to hitting you back

This is in or around North Portland

This posting has been removed by the craigslist community.