Champ Man

Over the next few weeks I will be posting Craigslist ads that I made when I first moved to Portland, this one is a conversation I had with a West Indian woman who loves using excessive commas. I was posing as a Bangladeshi immigrant who was a falconry enthusiast and a cashier at an adult bookstore, because everyone knows that women dig Bangladeshi falconers.

Me is Bangladeshi man and want a woman. Me have good job in a store for video and books for adult. I like all woman. Me likey long walk on beach with you, woman in hands, see shells on breasts like mermaid, I am your lover, I am your hatti, call me daddi, me drink wine on the beach and make you have a good day all day cause you work bad job and dont like it but you know you come home and I cook you pasta noodles like a champ man that I am, the champ man from across the see, the one who cook you pasta noodles and you think every day is your birthday/valentines.
This is in or around you heart.

Me......West Indian woman 47yrs divorced and live in NE If interested, can you respond with pic?

Yes, Yes, I am so happy I love woman. I love bird. My picture. My bird so grand, back old picture in Bangladesh.

I am with that explosive west coast shit.

Barry Portugal.



Sorry, I took so long to reply...It's interesting you like birds. I don't have any pets ,,,,,but I love falcons,,,,,,,,Please can you tell me more about yourself .? Pics attached......



Oh, Hello dear womans.

I think you did not want me. Many woman no like me for my job at my store, say it not good job, but I say job is job. You work, you pay. I love bird and learn. I learn some new words every day, and practiss English talk. No good to type. No big words. Not yet so. I see you very pretty. My picture is old picture my bird gave from computer long ago.

Barry Portugal.

Hi...Barry........I haven't forgotten you, but I'm so tired whenever I return home from work.I'm so happy today’s Friday...Wow!!!! and the weather is so georgeous after those rainy days......I think your English is good, but you're just playing. I can tell by your writing.......I'm awaiting to see a recent pic....Hope to hear from you again.....

Sorry long time no write. The mean man in this country no let me stay no more. I must go. I no want to go but I have to. You must come with me. I need to show my mother that I am a hip man with a hip lady from America and that I come home when I want not when mean America man says. I even as you know changed my name so I would not be Bangladeshi, now America man says I go because they found out the lie because bird attack customer in private booth at store. Police and mean America man say no bird good bird, no bird allowed in private booth but the last one in back his nest…Off limits, customer no care, me in trouble…very sad police shoot bird 34 times.

Barry Portugal.